A breakup can be really frustrating. Getting over one is even more frustrating. Leaving behind a relationship that was a huge part of your life for a period is not so easy. Letting someone you envisioned life with go is even harder. However, once over, life must go on. No matter how unfortunate they are, some breakups are actually necessary. Successfully getting over a breakup is a skill on its own. If you are struggling with getting over a breakup, or if you are confused on the next line of action to take after a breakup, read on.
In getting over a breakup, one mistake people make is hiding the pain. If your heart is broken, trust me the pain you feel is real. You are not overreacting, you are not letting yourself feel too much, and you are obviously not weak. Whatever you are feeling is normal. So, when getting over a breakup, cry if you have to, shout, hit something. However, you want to express yourself, do it. Just be sure to avoid causing permanent damage to yourself, the plan is getting over the breakup and not giving up. Bottling up your feelings and maintaining a cool surface because you have to be ‘strong’ is not best. All that does is harden your heart and closes it to new possibilities. Take some time off if you need to, vent, show your frustration with yourself if you need to.
Talk About It
Talking is probably the last thing you want to be doing when getting over a failed relationship, but talking about your breakup will help you get over it. Find a close friend, someone you can confide in and just talk about it. Where it hurts, why it hurts most, everything you need to say about it. Allow yourself to think through the events that led to the breakup irrespective of who did the breakup. In getting over a breakup, you must first walk through it. This is what talking about it does. Most times, talking about your breakup to someone gives you clearer insight on the events that caused the breakup. So, talk. Get a confidante and talk to the person.
When getting over a breakup, there is a thin line between letting go and moving on, and that is forgiveness. I know he took your fragile heart and threw it to the rocks. She probably shattered your heart into a million pieces, but you have to forgive. There is a popular saying you forgive for yourself and not for the person who hurt you. The fact is that in getting over a breakup, you must forgive. The one who never forgave, never really got over it. It is even more difficult when no one apologized to you. This is where your sense of maturity comes in. Forgiveness is like a balm to your hurting heart, and the reason why your heart still feels like it is bleeding is that you haven’t forgiven yet.
Everyone heals differently. When getting over a breakup, you must study yourself to know what works for you. If you are uncomfortable with following up on his life, block him for a while. If she still wants to be friends and you are okay with it, it’s fine. If not, decline and move on. Make yourself your priority when getting over a breakup.
Learn From Your Breakup
Some things will go wrong no matter what we try because they aren’t meant for us. Other things go wrong as a result of our own mistakes. When trying to get over a breakup, study the relationship, and honestly discover your faults if you have some. Improve on your faults, so the same thing does not repeat for the same reason next time. If there is one thing you gain from getting over a breakup, it is growth.
Find a New Passion
When you lose someone close to you, there is an empty spot in your heart. To avoid this, find a new passion. Possibly there’s a skill you’ve been interested in, a journey you’ve always wanted to take, now is the time to do it. When getting over a breakup, being busy is one of the fastest ways to do it. When you are so engrossed in your new found hobby, you find time going by so fast; soon, some months are gone. If possible, bombard yourself with activities. Take back to back classes. Yes, you’ll probably still think about the breakup any chance you get, but it will be less often. In no time you’ll find yourself thinking lesser and lesser about him or her. During the period you’re getting over a breakup, this is the best time to achieve a specific task. So, pour your pain into getting that job, starting up that class or whatever you promised yourself.
The Bottom Line
Remember that breakups are not always your fault. Also, remember that not everyone acts like the person you just left. A breakup does not mean you should never try a relationship again. It means you failed this time, but you can try again. Sometimes, we need to lose some people to meet others. Get over it and move on, and you’ll come out even stronger.